I've been feeling a little bit in a funk lately.
Recently I had a really important relationship in my life change a lot, and I'm having a hard time coping with it. My Grandma has also been in and out of the hospital a couple of times lately. I've gotten really close with her since living in Utah and just worry that she is alone and in pain. It makes me sad to see her have any kind of health scare or sadness in her life. To top it off, I want to be a mom so badly and it just isn't happening for us quite yet.
I'm so not trying to throw myself a pity party here, just explaining why it's been a little bit of a rough patch lately. Thank goodness for Trevor knowing what to do and how to take care of me. Have I mentioned recently that my husband is my best friend and perfect soul mate? I know that my problems are so minor compared to the ones so many people in this world have. You really never know what some people are going through. And I feel selfish for letting the sad things get to me when I have so much to be happy about all the time. I also know that I'm sensitive about things, which can't be helping the fact that I feel a hole in my heart and think about babies 24/7 and can't get through a phone call with my grandma without bawling.
Today at church, I felt like every word that was said went directly into my soul. It was all perfect and just what I needed to hear. On top of that, I was able to talk to some people who were the exact people I needed to talk to. I feel so much more peaceful than I have for a few days, and I know it's all blessings from God who loves me and knows exactly what I need to hear and who I need to talk to. I've been feeling the love all day long.
Please excuse my sob story. I honestly don't think my problems are any worse than anyone else's, I just know that sometimes I have a hard time dealing with things. Mainly I just want to say:
God knows me and loves me and is so aware of me always.
I can do hard things.
And the one I'm still working on accepting is that everything will happen in His time. He knows our lives so much better than we do, and things will happen when it's right. I just have to trust in His timing and that He knows best.
And again, thank goodness for husbands and friends and family that make everything sunnier!