Post Partum TMI

Being pregnant was the hardest thing I've ever done- mostly because it resulted in 9 months of puking in my case.

My last belly picture- 4 days before I had Milo. My sister told me to take one last picture right before I delivered, but I forgot on account of the amniotic fluid leaking out of me and the rapid onset blinding contractions.

When the doctor held Milo up, my first thought was, "that's what was inside of me this whole time?" So surreal. And so worth it.

And now I'm learning to embrace my momma body.

Disclaimer: if you'd rather not hear any graphic, strange, not-very-feminine details of post-pregnancy, stop reading now. 

1. As I hobbled around the recovery room after having Milo, Trevor kept commenting that he felt bad for me being in pain. I couldn't stand up straight, I was sitting on a giant chunk of ice all day in the same place I had just given birth (those ice packs are heaven, by the way), it took me 30 minutes to pee for fear of busting my stitches (and don't even think about anything more than peeing!), and I was spraying numbing agent on my hemorrhoids all day. And all I could say was, are you kidding me?! I feel amazing! I haven't thrown up in a whole day! When is dinner!? 

This is how I feel about not being sick anymore!

2. For the record, after giving birth, you still look pregnant. Which I guess makes sense since my uterus  had just spent 9 months stretching out from the size of a pear to the size of a Milo. 

My 2 week post partum baby bump! 

3. Incontinence. Why, yes, I DO feel like an 80 year old man. Last week, we were at the track doing some laps in the good old jogging stroller (I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT). When we finished, I realized that I had, in fact, peed my pants in a relatively significant amount. I prayed my whole walk of shame home that I wouldn't see anyone I knew. And that is all I want to say about that. 

4. Tots. Breastfeeding= sore boobs forever, HUGE boobs for a few days while you're engorged, and from then on, they vary in size multiple times a day. And for some reason my right is always bigger than my left. Which is definitely super cool because I love being lopsided. Also I feel mildly inappropriate in all my shirts now. I've never had this experience before. I miss my 32 a's.  

5. Here's the thing... I've been the weight I am right now before. I've actually been GAINING, not losing, weight since giving birth (3 cheers for not being sick anymore). However, I have NOT had this body before. Previously when I gained weight, I knew exactly where it would go. I've always carried my weight in my booty, thighs, and arms. And while my legs and booty have filled right back in to where they were before I was pregnant (as much as gaining weight is never mentally fun, I AM glad that I don't have sag booty in my jeans anymore), I now have this strange squishy midsection going on, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it. My best idea so far has been to cover it every day with an elastic waistband that conveniently hits RIGHT where the squish is. We'll see how this progresses, but until then, I may very well be cycling through the same 4 skirts for the next few months!

6. Hair and skin. I may have been sick as a dog, had heartburn that could rival the heat of the sun, turned into a raging hormone monster wife, and had contractions for months. But when I was pregnant- not to brag- but my hair and skin were awesome. Some people, like my perfect and beautiful sister, have flawless skin and hair all the time. Apparently I only get it when I have a zillion hormones pulsing through my body. And now, my hair is falling out and getting greasy faster again, and my skin is breaking out as per usual. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Maybe I should just get pregnant again. Ha. Hahaha. Ha.

However, my hair did look good this day. And that is rare lately. So- ignore the fish face, allow me this moment of being conceited, and check out my hair before it all falls out.

7. Night sweats, hot flashes, and pitting out. And no, I'm not going through menopause. I wake up in a sweat every night. I've read this is normal because my cells are getting rid of the extra fluid they held when I was pregnant. But holy crap, it's been a month. Still?! I also have pit stains basically 24/7. So sexy, right?

8. Pumping. All I'm going to say about this one is that sometimes Trevor moo's at me from across the apartment. Very cool.

Please forgive me if I've told you far more than you ever wanted to know. And please still have babies. SO worth all the weirdness and having a body you've never known before!