Adios

This last week has been full of final goodbyes. I generally try to avoid them like the plague, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. It's worth it.

One of the things I have loved most about living here is that I've gotten a chance to know some of my family better. I have a few cousins and my grandma who passed away last year who have all lived here while I was here, and it was so fun getting to hang out with them all the time!

Last Sunday we went to my cousin Kristine's house for dinner. I have LOVED getting to play with her the last few years! Grandma's cousin party, Christmas party, and tons of holidays will be some of my favorite memories forever. And she is a nurse at the hospital where I delivered Milo! She was the first one besides the delivery nurses/doctor and Trevor and me to hold him, and she got to see him when he was just barely born. I love that!

Her 3 kids all took turns feeding Milo

 And Milo loved playing with his daddy, as usual

 This is Milo's burping position. He loves sitting like this. It kills me.

 Always kissing on this boy!

 We also went over to my freshman year roommate Kanani and her husband Dan's house for dinner. A long post with pictures of all our adventures is to come, but it was a blast and we love Dan and Kanani forever. We have had some good times over the years :)

 Milo was thrilled by this point, not !

It's been SO fun playing with these people the last 5.5 years! We'll miss you!

My Provo People

The time has come to start saying our goodbyes.

Last night my sophomore year roommates and I got together for Stephanie's bridal shower. We moved in together in August of 2008. Bridget and Stephanie were best friends already. Kelli and I didn't know each other or them.

It was the best matchup in the world.

Since we've met, 2 of us have gone on missions, 3 of us have graduated college, 2 of us have gotten married, 1 is engaged, and 1 of us has a baby. Between us, there have been many different boyfriends and breakups, a million different haircuts and colors, and enough stories to last a lifetime.

It's been real, it's been fun. It's been real fun.

<3

Lazy Days

It may come as a surprise to you, but sometimes mine and Milo's nights together are pretty long and sleepless.

This is my fault as much as it is Milo's desire to hang out with his super fun mom ALL night long. {Usually, feeding him takes about 50 minutes average. I wake up, put in some eye drops, feed him on one side, change his diaper to wake him up a little so he'll keep eating, swaddle him tight, feed him on the other side till he falls asleep-ish, rock him and cuddle him and love on him for a few minutes (because after 45 minutes I'm actually decently awake and just feeling in love), and put him back in his bed. But you see, sometimes when it's 3 a.m. and he just finished eating at 1 and he falls asleep after 15 minutes and I have one eye open and am starting to resemble a bobble head as I try to stay just awake enough to feed him, I think, he can't be THAT hungry. And then I just sneak him back into his crib.}

And it always backfires.

Because guess what, then he wakes up again after an hour and a half and eats again for 15 minutes and it begins this endless cycle of only eating a little and, consequently, only sleeping a little.

And after nights like that, we have days like today.

Days like today consist of lots of cuddling, plenty of naps, no makeup, feeling groggy, staying in and hiding from the cold all day long, slippers, skipping the laundry folding, and not even minding one bit.

Rough life, huh? :)

Real Beauty

Love this video. We are our own worst critics.

You are beautiful!

Nakey Nakey!

Because I'm fairly certain you've never seen a tum quite this cute.

  

Milo's Adventures

Doctor says don't take baby out for about 6 weeks.

Momma says, I'm bored of sitting around inside so we are going to go on walks and the store all the time. Plus I'm pretty sure 4 weeks and 2 days is close enough to 6 weeks to take him to church, mostly because I couldn't wait any longer to show him off!

He was clearly thrilled about his outfit.

Momma and dad had a ball showing him off and cuddling him the whole time!

He also loves going walking/jogging in our amazing stroller

Going on dates with the Fam:

And the occasional stroll in the baby carrier which he fits great in :)

And please appreciate the adorable carseat cover my mom made!

Post Partum TMI

Being pregnant was the hardest thing I've ever done- mostly because it resulted in 9 months of puking in my case.

My last belly picture- 4 days before I had Milo. My sister told me to take one last picture right before I delivered, but I forgot on account of the amniotic fluid leaking out of me and the rapid onset blinding contractions.

When the doctor held Milo up, my first thought was, "that's what was inside of me this whole time?" So surreal. And so worth it.

And now I'm learning to embrace my momma body.

Disclaimer: if you'd rather not hear any graphic, strange, not-very-feminine details of post-pregnancy, stop reading now. 

1. As I hobbled around the recovery room after having Milo, Trevor kept commenting that he felt bad for me being in pain. I couldn't stand up straight, I was sitting on a giant chunk of ice all day in the same place I had just given birth (those ice packs are heaven, by the way), it took me 30 minutes to pee for fear of busting my stitches (and don't even think about anything more than peeing!), and I was spraying numbing agent on my hemorrhoids all day. And all I could say was, are you kidding me?! I feel amazing! I haven't thrown up in a whole day! When is dinner!? 

This is how I feel about not being sick anymore!

2. For the record, after giving birth, you still look pregnant. Which I guess makes sense since my uterus  had just spent 9 months stretching out from the size of a pear to the size of a Milo. 

My 2 week post partum baby bump! 

3. Incontinence. Why, yes, I DO feel like an 80 year old man. Last week, we were at the track doing some laps in the good old jogging stroller (I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT). When we finished, I realized that I had, in fact, peed my pants in a relatively significant amount. I prayed my whole walk of shame home that I wouldn't see anyone I knew. And that is all I want to say about that. 

4. Tots. Breastfeeding= sore boobs forever, HUGE boobs for a few days while you're engorged, and from then on, they vary in size multiple times a day. And for some reason my right is always bigger than my left. Which is definitely super cool because I love being lopsided. Also I feel mildly inappropriate in all my shirts now. I've never had this experience before. I miss my 32 a's.  

5. Here's the thing... I've been the weight I am right now before. I've actually been GAINING, not losing, weight since giving birth (3 cheers for not being sick anymore). However, I have NOT had this body before. Previously when I gained weight, I knew exactly where it would go. I've always carried my weight in my booty, thighs, and arms. And while my legs and booty have filled right back in to where they were before I was pregnant (as much as gaining weight is never mentally fun, I AM glad that I don't have sag booty in my jeans anymore), I now have this strange squishy midsection going on, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it. My best idea so far has been to cover it every day with an elastic waistband that conveniently hits RIGHT where the squish is. We'll see how this progresses, but until then, I may very well be cycling through the same 4 skirts for the next few months!

6. Hair and skin. I may have been sick as a dog, had heartburn that could rival the heat of the sun, turned into a raging hormone monster wife, and had contractions for months. But when I was pregnant- not to brag- but my hair and skin were awesome. Some people, like my perfect and beautiful sister, have flawless skin and hair all the time. Apparently I only get it when I have a zillion hormones pulsing through my body. And now, my hair is falling out and getting greasy faster again, and my skin is breaking out as per usual. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Maybe I should just get pregnant again. Ha. Hahaha. Ha.

However, my hair did look good this day. And that is rare lately. So- ignore the fish face, allow me this moment of being conceited, and check out my hair before it all falls out.

7. Night sweats, hot flashes, and pitting out. And no, I'm not going through menopause. I wake up in a sweat every night. I've read this is normal because my cells are getting rid of the extra fluid they held when I was pregnant. But holy crap, it's been a month. Still?! I also have pit stains basically 24/7. So sexy, right?

8. Pumping. All I'm going to say about this one is that sometimes Trevor moo's at me from across the apartment. Very cool.

Please forgive me if I've told you far more than you ever wanted to know. And please still have babies. SO worth all the weirdness and having a body you've never known before!

Our Happy Place and Sleep

Milo and I officially have the same happy place: cuddled up to Trevor.

The whole sleeping thing is going... OK for us. Sometimes he makes it 3 hours... usually it's more like 2, and often 1 and a half. But we're getting there, and some days are better than others of course. 

However, if he is in this position:

He will sleep for HOURS.

Last night we did a little experiment. It was called, "Milo had the attention span of a goldfish every time I fed him today which resulted in him eating about 45 times and taking zero good naps and oh yeah I haven't slept more than a 3 hour stretch in a month so welcome home daddy I'm getting one of the bags of milk out of the freezer and you can feed him the first time tonight"(to which Trevor happily agreed- we just haven't done this before since he works about a million hours a week and since I'm breastfeeding, I'm always ready to feed him after a couple of hours anyway). 

But last night. Trevor fell asleep with Milo on his chest and Milo slept until 4:30 in the morning. 4:30! And then Trevor fed him! And then he slept again till 7:30! Which means I slept from 1 to 7:30! At which point I fed him, pumped the extra from the night, and fell asleep for 30 more minutes. I feel like a whole new woman! And thank goodness, the streak of eating every 5 seconds has been broken. 

So yes, I've been replaced as Trevor's most frequent cuddle buddy. But I totally get it. I mean can you blame him? :)