Thank you for all the love about our little one!
Can you believe it's finally happening?
Here's the story.
Trevor asked me yesterday how long it's been my biggest life dream to be a mom.
I said since the moment I was born, and he believes me.
We've been talking about babies since we were married in December of 2009.
We officially started trying in May of 2011.
After 3 months, I was disappointed.
After 6 months, I was working with a doctor.
After 9 months, I was trying to tell myself that I could make it to a year.
After a year, I was
a little bit of a mess.
In July of this year, along with the fertility medicine I'd been on for months, I got a $200 shot and 2 ultrasounds. Unfortunately, insurance didn't cover anything related to infertility. I came home from the doctor after the shot and bawled on the floor, knowing that more months of expensive treatments weren't in the cards for us right now.
I've spent lots of time trying to lose myself in work, or school, or hobbies.
But my mind has been full of wanting to be a mother the whole time.
10 days later, I got my first positive pregnancy test of my life.
The shot I had was an HCG trigger shot, so I knew that the positive could be a result of the residual HCG in my system. I kept testing every day that week (I couldn't let those 2 pink lines disappear!). On Thursday, the day that the shot technically should have been totally out of my system, I still tested positive. I was still terrified to get my hopes up, so I went to the doctor to get a blood test. Have I mentioned that this was the longest week I've ever had in my entire life?
The next day, I called the doctor 4 times to see if my test results were in yet.
Finally, around 3 in the afternoon, they confirmed what I'd been hoping for for more than a year.
I laughed, I cried, I prayed, and I finally let myself believe it.
Finally, I could be part of this world that had been off limits to me for such a long time.
I haven't stopped daydreaming and thinking about this little one since.
To say I've been a bit paranoid is somewhat of an understatement.
I got an ultrasound at 5.5 weeks just to make sure there really was something alive in there. That little flutter on the screen was the best sight I've ever seen in my life. I cried like a baby (blame it on the hormones?) and Trevor teared up, too (shh).
So there it is! After all this time, our dream of being parents is coming true.
Here's how it's been:
I'm pretty sure I'm the quintessential pregnant woman, down to the pickles and ice cream.
I puke every day. As unpleasant as it is to feel like I've been carsick for months, I love the reminder that my little bean is happy and healthy. I'm so NOT one of those girls who barely notices that she's pregnant. I feel like I got hit by a truck most of the time. But a very cute truck.
|This is what morning sickness looks like.|
The exhaustion is indescribable. Sometimes I feel like I can't even move, and I'm not even being dramatic. I take a nap every day at lunch and I fall asleep every time. It takes a lot of work to make a human! I've never been more happy to feel like a zombie.
|Have I mentioned Trevor is the most supportive husband on the planet? He deserves his own post. Watch for it.|
I crave the. weirdest. foods. Not your typical "flu" foods. More like... french silk pie, tomato soup and cheese sandwiches, green grapes, pesto pasta... you know, a bunch of stuff that's probably terrible for me. Things I will not be craving for an extremely long time? Mexican food, Asian food, and Indian food. I bet you can guess why.
I cry like a faucet. Trevor thinks he's hilarious when he starts talking all sentimental about the baby bean and makes me tear up. Then I laugh and cry at the same time because I know how ridiculous I'm being. Ask me how many times I've cried on the way to work because of a song, or how often I cry while I'm running because One Tree Hill is just so darn touching.
Speaking of which. One of my biggest accomplishments, at least in my mind, has been running through my first trimester. My doctor said I was fine to keep doing whatever I was doing before I got pregnant cardio wise. Trust me, it has been no easy task. I'm going at a slower pace, cutting down a bit on distance, and letting myself walk a lap or two if I'm starting to feel sick or too worn out. I do LOVE my new little running buddy... I'm hoping this one turns out to be a runner like momma.
And there you have it. All my funny belly pictures that are probably mostly bloating at this point, and all the details of the best news we've ever had.