2015: Living Life on Purpose

2014 has been quite the ride, and I feel like I've done a lot of treading water and barely keeping my head on the surface trying to keep up with it all. I've grown and learned a lot- emotionally, spiritually, physically, and as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I'm thankful for all the crazy and everything I can (and still am) learning from it. If I had to categorize this year's lessons into a word, I think it would be serenity. Learning to come to peace with what life brings and enjoy it along the way is one of the most difficult, important things to master, and I'm just scratching the surface. Thankfully a new year doesn't mean I'm done- just a good time to refocus.

With serenity in the front of my mind, next year my theme will be living life simply, moderately, and on purpose. Of course the obstacles will always be there- that's life. But I want to learn to navigate them with equipped with a little more clarity and direction. Too often, I think about my time, resources, energy, health, priorities, and spirit and feel like I'm missing something or not using them wisely. So here's what I want to practice:

Time: I only have so many minutes in a day. Instead of trying to cram as many things into them as possible, I want to make sure to fill each minute with quality. I want to serve others. When I have spare time, I can use it to help people who don't (one of the greatest luxuries of being a stay at home mom). If I'm playing with Milo, I want all of my attention right there with him and really play. When I have a few minutes to myself, I want them to be used productively (let it be known that power naps are productive :)). When Trevor and I have time together, I want us to talk and use that time, because sometimes those moments get few and far between with all the craziness. I can use my time to beautify my home, or develop some wifely skills that still seem to have escaped me (cooking).

Resources: We don't have a lot of money, but I'm young and energetic and capable. I do not want a cluttered home or mind or anything else. Living in a small apartment, it's easy for it to feel crammed. I want to work on saving money, being more frugal, and decluttering my home. I want to use my resources (energy, time) to help people who need it.

Intellectual: Read more! I miss reading and I love to do it, but haven't in a long time. I want to keep learning new things and growing and developing as a person. I love to learn and I want to nurture that.

Emotional: I've been working on focusing on what I have and what's perfect and wonderful about my life instead of what's hard and painful, and I still have a ways to go. Along with this, I can't compare myself to every perfectly talented and beautiful wife and mother I ever run across (who just so happens to have 4 kids under 4). Everyone's life is hard in some way or another. Everyone has challenges that aren't mine. The best thing I can do for my own emotions is to count my blessings and not dwell on the hard things.

Health: My health has improved leaps and bounds from where I was last year. Overcoming an eating disorder is hard work, and that has taken a lot of my energy this year. Now that I'm in a more stable place, I know I need to keep that at the front of my mind while continuing to improve. More fruits and veggies and real foods from the earth. Less processed carbs and junk. More cooking and developing a repertoire of healthy meals. And continue having a good routine of exercise while working on inspiring my family to reach for healthy things first and exercise regularly. Go to bed early. Get up early.

Spiritual: Read scriptures with a purpose. Pray. Keep my mind clear of clutter and fill it with purpose.   Meditate. Discuss spiritual things with Trevor. Remember always that God loves me and I'm his daughter. Keep the faith. Have inner peace.

Moderation: in all things, always. See also: serenity.

I feel good about this year. I have a lot to do and so many things to work on, but I think I'm starting from a good, sturdy place. I know that the more I work on myself, the more my family will benefit. And I'm always thankful for a fresh start. I'm ready for you, 2015!

Scary Thursday

1. Please bless that Milo will be happy today. I can hear him talking in his crib. He's not yelling. This is a good sign. Also, it's 8:45 which is fantastic because he slept in for a full hour. Is it normal to be a little bit afraid of your toddler sometimes?

Yesterday was soo fun. 

2. Trevor has a super intense final today. I may not be the student in this relationship, but we all feel the stress and pressure of school. If all goes well, we're staring at 5 weeks of having Trevor all to ourselves, and I can hardly wait.

I'm such a good study buddy.

3. Yesterday I drove through a herd (pack? Fleet?) of wild turkeys and deer. And I'm also almost positive I saw an alpaca. Who knew West Texas was so exotic?

4. Oh, and for funsies, let's throw in surgery next Thursday. Eeek. But if being put to sleep this time is anything like when I had my wisdom teeth out... that was kind of fun. Silver lining!

So much anxiety happening this morning! Milo and I should probably go shopping. Trevor: just kidding don't worry. I don't even like shopping.

Fighting the Lazy Days

                   

Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like you're just worn out all day, every day? Last week was one of those for me. Waking up was torture, focusing was near impossible, and naps were inevitable. I blame the fact that I've been staying up way too late trying to be a supportive wife for my husband in the midst of finals (I can't sleep without him there. I guess this is what 5 years of marriage has done to us ;)). Needless to say, my to-do list has been growing, my apartment needed cleaning (thank goodness for the weekend- and side note- somehow on Saturday night I got all the laundry folded while Milo was awake. I mean what?? I promise it was a fluke). This week I'm bound and determined to get back on top of my game.

When I'm having low motivation, high demand days, I've found a few things that work for me.

1- Get back into my routine. Staying up late does not work out when you're up before the sun!

2- Don't eat within 2-3 hours of bed. This is a new one I'm working on, because I'm a notorious late night snacker. But I sleep so much better when I go to bed a few hours after dinner and don't have a pre-bed blood sugar spike.

3- Get in a good workout. You all know I'm a big believer in some endorphins, and I stand by it.

4- Pay attention to what I'm eating. When I eat too many carbs, I get a headache. When I don't eat enough protein, I get tired and hungry.

5- Keep the apartment tidy. Nothing makes me less focused than clutter, and last week was bad. Now I'm not saying that my apartment is pristine by any means, but Trevor fixed the vacuum and I organized some cluttered corners, so I'm feeling much more put together now.

6- Y'all know I'm a believer of naps. I would say probably 70% of the time, I take at least a short power nap while Milo sleeps. It makes all the difference in the world and is just the pick me up I need midday.

7- Make lists. I'm an avid list keeper. I have 3 separate lists in my phone that I can check off as I finish things, and a bunch of other lists saved as notes with things like groceries, wish lists, showings, invoices, and a myriad of ideas. I also almost always add a thing or two at night before bed, because we all know that as soon as my head hits the pillow, it's time for my brain to wake up and think about all my ideas and everything I need to remember!

8- Take time out. Milo does not do well when I'm trying to get too much done in a day. We play, a lot. He has spurts of playing well on his own where I can sneak in a few emails, but he's my number one, and since I have to drag him along on all my errands, it's important for him to know I care about what he wants to do too. And let's be real. I'd rather be playing at the park than preparing presentations or cleaning the apartment any day!

Take care of yourself this busy season! Stay healthy and alert and it will be so much better! XO

Remembering

I'm so glad I keep this journal of me and my boy conquering the world. Sometimes I think back to months of Milo's life and the details of what we did every day are fuzzy, but I remember with complete clarity how it felt. This time last year, I remember that he was starting to try taking his first steps, but barely. He was climbing on everything and I put him in his Christmas jams every chance I got. He liked to crawl under the Christmas tree and get stuck behind the treadmill. I was still nursing him and clinging on to every second of the time I had with him in my arms. He still wasn't sleeping through the night. He loved (still loves) to laugh, especially at his daddy. There's something perfect about the goofy relationship between those two.

And now we have this year. And I don't want to forget any of it.
Every morning when I get Milo out of bed, he says "uh-oh" until we reach back in and grab his lion and his blanket. He always wants to cuddle for a few minutes right out of bed (and I always want to cuddle for longer). He gets out his cars, then his blocks, then his train track, then his ABC puzzle. His favorite book is the one with cars and trains and airplanes. He loves having his milk in the morning, and he will stand at the fridge and say "mama" until I get it for him. He says please and thank you. He always wants to go outside, even when it's freezing. He grabs his shoes ("gshhhh") and has me put them on (I can always get free kisses when I'm putting his shoes on, because that's when he likes me most), and then stands at the door and says "ou-ide?". He loves to help me take out the trash and get the mail. He's the worst at eating, still. He likes cheese, wheat thins, chicken, cottage cheese, and bananas the best, but above all, milk.

He finally will hold my hand, but spends more time trying to get away than walking with me happily. He loves doing butt busters on solid ground. It's the funniest thing. He squeals when he's excited. He says "see ya" and "bye bye" to all the cars, and to anyone who's leaving. He says "daddy?" whenever he hears a car pull up. He gives good kisses, unless I've reached my kiss quota for the day. Then he smacks me in the head when I try. He loves when I stand behind him and sneak attack pull him in to me. Then he gets up, stands in front of me (facing away), and waits for me to do it again. He loves being thrown in the air. He will stand in front of me and say "one? two?" until I pick him up and throw him (repeat, repeat, repeat). I love the way he says, "there he is!" (which sounds like "ee-eesh") regardless of whether we are playing peek a boo or he finds a cracker in his carseat. He loves the bath. He helps pick up his toys at the end of the day. We start with the roads, then the legos, then the blocks, then the dinosaurs. He's such a good helper!

He finally loves reading stories. He will go grab one and stand at my legs until we read it. I am always game for story time! He is so silly. He likes to giggle at people. When he's praying, he peeks and laughs at everyone. He just can't hold it all in, and I love it. He makes loud car noises all through church. Nursery is hit and miss, but he does ok. I don't love leaving him, but I know it's good for him. I love how he gets shy in front of strangers. He has this sly little smile that he does when he's trying not to. When he dances, he does the Charlie Brown dance. You know the one. I didn't teach him that. It's all him. He loves carrying around his lion everywhere he goes. He throws things, and spins, and laughs, and jumps. He says, "oh wow!" like it's his job about anything exciting. He laughs when he pees in the bathtub. So do I. Can't help it.

He loves looking out the window, exploring, and playing. He's curious about the world and has to climb everything, push every button, check everything out. He likes me close and I like him close. He's cheerful and we can read each other like books thanks to the countless hours we spend together. He brings me more joy than I ever thought life could give. This boy of mine is just that- ALL boy. I wouldn't have it any other way. And then there's nights like last night (more often than not) that I look at him sleeping and I get overwhelmed by how much I love my munch. Watching him so perfect and cute and unique and special in his little santa jams. My heart just explodes, all the time. Being a boy mom is all it's cracked up to be. There's so much love here.