1 More Month

Milo is only going to be 1 for one more month. I realized on Sunday that it was the month-away-from-2 mark and almost had a minor heart attack. Honestly though, I think I'm coping better with 2 than I did with 1. He acts like a 2 year old, talks like a 2 year old, plays like a 2 year old, and he hasn't really been a baby for quite a while. And I am really, really enjoying my big boy. As much as I miss the baby phase- oh I miss that baby phase- there is so much good about the toddler thing. So we're wrapping our heads around it and loving it all.

I keep finding Milo in various levels of nudity because he learned a new trick called taking off his clothes and diaper. I'm actually amazed it took him this long (and still in shock that he hasn't started climbing out of his crib yet (and now I've jinxed it)) so now I get to redo one of the top 3 most difficult tasks of the day over and over (right up there with getting in and out of the car).

He wakes up every morning asking for kickies (Kix) and nanas. At least he's decisive about breakfast. And then of course I pull out my cottage cheese and he wants that instead. And I'm all muahaha protein!

He wants to walk all by himself at the store. The only problem here is that he doesn't want to hold my hand, or stay close to me, or sit in the cart. So I'm somewhat at a loss, but I'm sure we'll figure something out eventually. Right now my solution is chocolate.

All things trains/cars/airplanes make this boy light up like you wouldn't believe. He sees big trucks in the parking lot and "vroom vrooms" at them, and when we were in Kansas and he got to ride in the truck, you would have thought it was Christmas.

He is the definition of all boy. Always dirty, always wanting to go outside, throwing, running, jumping... I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do with a girl at this point.

He loves doing his nursery songs, dancing, and singing little songs. OH it melts my heart.

He's big enough to have feelings now, and every day is about making sure he knows I love him because even when he doesn't act like his feelings are hurt, I know he needs to feel secure and safe and loved. I went in and looked at him last night and just hoped and prayed that he knows how much he's loved. One thing I do love about the toddler thing is that he can love me and be my buddy back, which is pretty fulfilling after him not being able to respond much when he was tiny.

As unfairly fast as the transition from baby to toddler went, I'm trying everything I can to just focus on my big boy, right now. I'll never get those days back, and I'll never get these days back. The best we can do is love them all, which he makes pretty easy. Never could have known how full this boy would make my heart.

Coming Home

I always like going on vacation, but if I'm being completely honest, I kind of love the coming home part just the tiniest bit more. Milo and I got back in town Saturday night, spent all day Sunday in a whirlwind of recovery, and today has been magical. Back to our regular routine, which beginning about 23 months ago became the only way I can function (and- 23 MONTHS?! Oh my. Make that boy slow down). I ran, we played, he napped, I cleaned, we worked, we shopped, we bathed, and it was so good to be back to it. I'm glad I like my life enough to be excited to get back to the normal. Goodness knows I needed that break, and I loved every second of that week off. I slept in every day, napped with Milo every afternoon, and we hid inside from the cold and watched the beginning race scene of cars way too many times.

The miracle of the world was that nobody sat by us on any of our 4 flights. I don't really think you can ask for a better flying experience than that. Right? Amazing.

A few things:
Milo is terrible at saying Airplane. He says "Amie!" But he loves the things.
He calls cars "mooom moooms" and makes car noises at every big truck he sees. Semi trucks are choo choos.
He loves books.
He likes to pull on me and say, "mon!" (come on) and it basically melts your heart. We play follow a lot.
When he gets in the car, he says "church?" So thankfully that hopefully means he's warming up to nursery?
He loves to dance. He brings me my phone and says "dance?" all the time so I'll turn on music.
He loves to help me cook. It's really easy to cook with an almost 2 year old ;)
Still naps like a champ. YES.
He loves corn dogs. Does it make me a failure of a mother if I feed my child corn dogs? Whatever. He eats bananas and cheese too so we're totally good.
He loves to jump and spin.
He circles his little arms so we will sing "do as I'm doing" and then he goes really fast, and really slow with shifty side eyes. I cannot contain myself when he does it. Hilarious. He also loves head shoulders knees and toes and he mostly just does squats the whole time.

Please can I never ever forget a thing?! Except for the screaming phase. I don't mind if I forget that one.

Having a Ball

(By some miracle nobody was next to us on either flight. God loves me.)

Milo and I got to my parents' house in Kansas on Saturday afternoon, and let me tell you that I am taking full advantage of a completely lazy week away from it all. I've slept in every day, taken a nap with Milo every afternoon, done absolutely zero work, and haven't run once. It's been so, so long since I just took a whole week off from everything, and I think it's just what I needed! We have been going nonstop for months- maybe even years-, and it's nice to have some days with just me and my boy and no agenda besides playing trains, watching Cars, and visiting friends. 

So here's to you, my full week off. I will soak every second of you in until we hit the ground running again next week!

Let Them Be Little

Sometimes I feel like busy days are unfair for toddlers. Yes, we need to get things done. That is life. But some days we need to get too much done, and he has no other option than to join me. Today I had to cart Milo around to 4 showings, then to Target, then to the office so I could scan files, then home for lunch and naps, and right after that, errands for a lady I assist, back home, and more showings (Trevor was home by then thankfully! I was laying on the floor starving right before I left home so I can't imagine how Milo would have handled the situation!).

Some days we play at home for hours on end, driving cars and playing outside, and other days we spend all day driving around town, getting in and out of the car (in my opinion the most difficult thing about motherhood- dang carseat buckles). It's hard to find a balance between crossing things off the checklist and having pajama and hot wheels days.

I can always tell when we've done too much or I'm trying to cram too many things into one day. Milo generally does pretty ok on errands. As well as can be expected from a crazy almost 2-year-old. But when I push the limits, he is really over it, really fast.

Today was just one of those days that work came up just about all day, and during our (unexpected) trip to the store in the afternoon, I paid for it. Milo was jumping in and out of the car cart (which didn't have a belt and gosh dangit he had already seen them so I couldn't very well use a normal cart), trying to climb onto the floor WHILE I was pushing the cart, yelling, putting his fingers on the conveyor belt, running away... he just was so not in the mood to run errands. Meanwhile, what was supposed to be a quick stop at the store to pick up some prescriptions and Kleenex turned into essentially a wrestling match that left me dripping in sweat as I carried my (shoeless) toddler out of the store with one arm under his arms around his chest and the rest of him squirming to escape. It was intense.

And it's nightmare trips like this that remind me that yes. Usually my little boy is pretty good in public, all things considered. And usually when he has a rough time like this, it's because I'm pushing the boundaries. And then I feel rotten for making him do too much. As much as I think it's important that he knows how to handle himself and understands that the nature of real life is that we have to get things done some days, I need to remember that he's not even 2 and lives for playing cars. I've found that when we keep things good and balanced, with plenty of play time and intermittent errands, we work together at a pretty good hum.

I can tell you this though. There's nobody I'd rather be lugging in and out of a carseat all over town than this sweet boy.

Hola!

Last week, thanks in great part to the cocktail of hormones pulsing through my body, I had a terr-I-ble week of eating. Usually I do pretty well, get in all my fruits and veggies, and listen to my appetite. But last week all healthy cravings were replaced completely with carbs and chocolate- and I listened. And what's worse is that I could feel it all week. My workouts and energy levels were awful! Needless to say, I woke up this morning feeling sick and in need of a reset. 

The weather this week is looking amazing (at least until Thursday) so Milo and I have some big plans at the park including throwing rocks off the slide and spider swinging. Trevor starts back at school tomorrow so it will be just the two of us again. It's been so fun having him home- but also- he's been studying the whole time. Can we just be done with school?!

In 2 weeks Milo and I are venturing up to Kansas for a week. It's always so good to get HOME!

Milo lately:

Everything is "stuck"

Loud airplane noises ALL through church

Likes to snuggle and watch Diego after naps

Takes his lion and blanky with him everywhere

Eats Kix and a banana for breakfast every day 

Loves peanut butter and honey sandwiches

Putting words together like a champ. Daddy go? Ball outside? Lion night night? It's so fun hearing how he gets his sweet ideas across. 

Hope your Monday is everything good!

The Trouble With Girls

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone you absolutely adore tells you something wonderful in the sweetest, most kind way, and it feels like a punch in the gut?

Let me elaborate.

It's like when someone loses weight and looks amazing, or tells me they're pregnant. I'm so happy for them. Truly. And it baffles me how I can feel like the wind is being knocked out of me because something so good happening for them.

It's so confusing, right? Why does this happen? Why do I take other peoples' successes personally? Suddenly, they have this thing that I want so badly for myself happening for them, and maybe they didn't even try for it- or maybe they did-, and it just grinds on me in a way that it shouldn't.

Jealousy isn't an attractive thing, or a sweet thing, or a trait I want to have. And as comparison has been one of my greatest character flaws, it's only natural to have jealousy tagging along. But I would never actually admit to anyone that I felt this way (and all of a sudden this blog post is becoming extremely ironic and I'm questioning whether I'll even post it). Oh, no! I should definitely stifle the fact that I have any type of negative feelings where they are completely unwarranted, because a good friend and a sweet person does not ever have a hard time accepting that someone else is making what I had hoped for their reality. Right??

And then it goes back to that whole thing about opening my eyes and looking at all the amazing, huge blessings right in front of me. They are not lost on me, I assure you. This isn't a disclaimer, it's a truth I look in the face all day, every day (and its name is Milo/Trevor). I have an incredibly happy life and all the love I could ever ask for- and all this makes me feel all the more rotten for being envious.

I absolutely LOVE this talk by the always wise Jeffrey R. Holland:

There are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.

Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment! To say nothing of the chagrin in the end, when we find that God really is both just and merciful, giving to all who stand with Him “all that he hath,”² as the scripture says. So lesson number one from the Lord’s vineyard: coveting, pouting, or tearing others down does not elevate your standing, nor does demeaning someone else improve your self-image. So be kind, and be grateful that God is kind. It is a happy way to live.

And there it is. Makes so much sense in the correct light, doesn't it? And I would be heartbroken if my friends stopped sharing their happy news with me, because it brings me so much joy to see all the good happening for others and sharing in the love.

So there's my two cents on the matter. Here's to doing a little better each time I'm tempted by envy.

Truth

I'm having one of those weeks where I'm constantly hungry. It's awesome, not.

It's cold which makes me want to be a total recluse, and I'm pretty good at it. Had to make an emergency store run last night for some milk and diapers because I haven't been able to talk myself into a grocery trip all week (disclaimer: it is 20 minutes away and other disclaimer: I have an almost 2 year old who enjoys outings about 20% of the time).

I'm a grandma. I go to bed so early these days. Not sorry.

I have the best husband in the whole world. Sorry girls. Yesterday was a weird day and he cheered me up like a champ. So glad I get to do life with him.

Milo and I are going home to Kansas in 20 days! (Just got informed of how many days by our favorite Uncle Russ back home)

We have been movie watching fiends lately. Trevor goes back to school in 10 days so we are soaking in the rest of our time. Someday when we're not doing the student thing it's going to be really fun to have a life with my husband.

We've been in our jams basically all week, minus the few hours a day we've been out. I'm ok with it.

Milo's bedhead is unreal.

We have officially been married 5 years. Best choice I've ever made.

I have a love/hate relationship with winter. I love being warm and cozy. I hate being cold. I love not being hot. I hate the freezing car. I love dressing in layers. I hate the amount of time it takes to put them all on and take them all off. It's really pretty confusing.

I love you all. Happy happy Sunday to you :)